“Through the sharing of stories, I also learned to have true dialogue with them by opening my heart to them to begin friendship, living the spirituality of life-in-dialogue that is rooted in the love of God, and love of neighbour.”
When I was younger, I had biases and prejudices toward Muslims. I grew up carrying all these kinds of disposition, until it came to the point that I hated them so much. I experienced being bullied by them, and hearing them saying bad words about Christians. I could not escape from them at that time because our house was near their community. This was one of the reasons why I had built up the feelings of anger toward them. I have experienced difficulty accepting them as my friends or as my neighbours. My story continued during my high school days. These were the worst days of my life. Dumating ang panahon na nakipag-away ako, nakipagsabunutan at nakipagsuntukan ako sa aking mga kaklaseng Muslim (“There came a point that I really fought with them: pulled hair and exchanged punches or fists with my Muslim classmates”.) I realized that incident had a great impact that contributed a lot in my behaviour towards them. I became more irritated and sensitive every time I saw them during class hours. In the later part of my life, I realized that I was not happy. I tried everything just to escape from them, from being bullied. I struggled much with this kind of disposition. During my college days I experienced once again being betrayed by a Muslim friend.
With the experience of betrayal, I felt that I had been torn into pieces because it caused a deep pain in me, especially emotionally. It added to my experiences with the Muslims. Again and again the hatred started to ruin my life. Fortunately, I was given the chance to join an encounter and immersion with a community who are not practicing the Catholic faith during my Notre Dame Center for Catechesis (NDCFC) time, when I was assigned as a parish secretary of San Roque. I was also given the opportunity last February 2013 to join the Madaris-Gurus and Catechist Training, one of the programs initiated by Silsilah. As a participant of these programs, I was led to a big realization that we need to build relationship with others, through respect, understanding, and acceptance and most importantly through love. Through these beautiful experiences, I have learned to open my heart to them, building friendship by living the spirituality of life in dialogue. The experience of having attended those formation programs contributed a lot in the transformation of my perception towards Muslims, from hatred to forgiveness, anger to love. These realizations were deepened when I had an exposure with Muslim families as part of the activities during the Silsilah Summer Course, specifically for Basic Course participants in 2016. At first, I had these feelings of uncertainties, fear, and my mind was so preoccupied of so many things. I was very concerned about what could be the result or outcome of my immersion. Wound I be successful in attaining the objectives or aims of Silsilah? Why would they initiate these kinds of immersions to Muslim families for Christian participants and vice versa? Would they treat me just and right? These were some of my thoughts and reservations during those times. It was very unusual for me to stay with other families whom I did not know well. But at that time, I had proven that I was wrong in what I have been thinking or feeling.
When we arrived in the place where we were assigned, I was amazed at their welcoming attitude towards us. They greeted us with a big smile and we saw in their eyes their happiness, joy and excitement. I had been immersed in two different areas: first, in Sinunuc near the seaside and second was in Paniran, Sta. Catalina. In Sinunuc, I stayed in Jaji’s home, while in Paniran, I lived with the Biri family. These two families had never let me feel that I was a stranger to them rather they accepted me as part of their family. It was very sweet to my ears when I heard Ama and Ina saying “anak pasok ka” (child—son/daughter, get in). I felt ashamed of myself because of the preconceptions I had in mind about them. My uncertainties and fears vanished. In fact, I experienced personal transformation on that very same day. My thoughts were purified, and I have realized many things especially those that were not good about Muslims. The three-day immersion led me to reconcile with myself and with them especially reconciling with the past experiences I had. The exposure and immersion were substantial for me because of the fruitful exchanges, not just exchanges of our differences in terms of religion but what we had in common. There I learned their true values such as being caring, loving, hospitable and, most especially, humility. They care and love not only the people around them but also animals and plants. This was also one of the things for which I admired them most. Through sharing of stories, I also learned to have true dialogue with them by opening my heart to them to begin friendship, living the spirituality of life-in-dialogue that is rooted in the love of God, and love of neighbour. I have found in them friends, but more importantly – faithful companions throughout my life’s journey. Since then and up to now, our communication continues. We both appreciate the friendship and bonding we have built. They also expressed that to me. They were able to set aside their own judgements and biases to my fellow Christians because of the way I treated them.
Now, I am confident to say that I was truly transformed and inspired to continue the mission to reach out to those people and have a true dialogue with them. Truly, dialogue is not a conversation with two or more people. Rather, it must be our way of life every day, the spirituality of life-in-dialogue. Dialogue is a 24/7 call or invitation for every human being. It is a way that brings us closer to God, Others, to all His Creation and to our very own Selves.
Maria Fe R. Banua, EC
Principal, Silsilah Elementary School and Extensions